To expand on the title, the name ascribed to many entheogenic substances has been “psychedelic,” which stems from “psyche” (mind, body, spirit) and “delios” (to make manifest). Thus, I’d like to write about my understanding, thusfar, into karmic delios, since the appeal of outright control, i.e. intentional sorcery, can pull from seemingly traumatic and unnecessary life experience. However, to quickly counter, some could argue that manifestation is a huge aspect of making matter and meaning, aka turning thoughts tangible (like the electronic device I’m using as a medium to relay this message), yet since the novice experience lends a heavy hand towards the unseen, trust, and covertness, some may wondering, “with whom am I communing? With what am I working?”
Therefore, I have refrained from desire-driven delios—in the traditional sense. To explain:
I have wounds—trauma if you will. Trauma from what’s been done to me and from what I have done, so when I reembarked into psychedelia, I found myself grooved in the transmutic euphoria of change. The expulsion of negative patterns, with the fire of ego rising above the ashes of past deeds and wants. Yet, I still fell. The healing turned accusatory because I could not ground and could not escape the fears of who I am or was. Something else, an external pattern continually challenged me. A broken system of trust based on the persona of appearance and faith and knowing when to sound, act, and behave “right.” This knowledge was the embodiment of addiction on its way to perfection. An idea so devious that its presence escaped awareness.
So…what was I to do? For, its presence required me to utilize for its own gain—as if the poltergeist(s) of my previous life, my karmic bonds and debts became a person, or group of persons. In Judaism, this figure is referred to as Azazel, the scapegoat. The byproduct of sorcery mishaps. Poor decisions. Terrible circumstance. And manipulation. Yet, for transmutation and growth to occur, its presence was required for examination. Like a log, a data file of connectivity between life and idea and behavior/action. A proof of the sum total of choices. Yet, this idea and circumstance tormented my logic. For, that system would beget itself across time.
Example:
Person feels “guilt” and decided to lie more to cover the guilt. This pathway creates more and more versions of itself, like an unchecked reproductive algorithm. So, I switched perspectives into a dharma/karma view. This is where my awareness became more acute—kind of. To expand—
If I hurt person A verbally or physically, in traditional karmic bindings, the same or equal retaliation would need to be performed on me, which only allows perpetuation of the same cycle. There would be more confusion, more players, and more situations. Some desire to use this accumulated energ (this is the power source for all narrative endeavors), but my logic has denied me that function other than to experience the emotion without the action. Why cause the same repeating cycle in others because of my misunderstandings and circumstance? Thus, I now try to manifest that idea of purity and non-involvement into thought and time without the harsh conflicts reemerging in those around me.
Yet, it exists and is real now. It takes over moments in time and shows itself in the beckoning of conflict in players/people that also do not need that type of further engagement—unless that idea is now testing them, which, unfortunately lends to the idea that many shy away from: a savior role. A shaman. A healer. Namaste.